I've never quite felt the urge to pack up my kids and whatever would fit in my car and go. I don't know where but somewhere far, far way from here. Somewhere new. Somewhere fresh. Somewhere else.

I am done. I am raw. I am fucking exhausted. The days are long and the nights are short. There isn't enough sleep or time or patience. And, I just... I need a break.

Life is kicking my ass. And I'm gritting my teeth and barreling through. I refuse to give up because fuck that shit. But, damn, what I would give to not have to fight so fucking hard all damn day, every day. Don't get me wrong, there is so much sunshine in this bullshit storm that has been my life lately. And I hold onto those rays of sunshine like they are my last bit of air because they are. Without them I don't know what the hell I would do. Well, I guess give up. But, again, not an option.

*sigh* Maybe today would be a good day to leave the house. It's been a few days. But, the whole 3 that are 3 and under thing is still new and still a lot. Especially with all of this rain and a car that barely fits everyone. Maybe we will wait until tomorrow since I *have* to leave tomorrow. We can make it an epic adventure day. Maybe more than just a trip to Starbucks. Maybe we'll get extra brave and go to Target too. Or maybe I'll drive into the sunset and never come back. Who knows.