Staying Positive

My life is starting to feel like it is really just a combination of a series of unfortunate events. I try my hardest to stay positive and keep my eye on the good stuff. But, if I am going to be honest with you, it is hard to stay positive when things just keep going wrong. Whether it is one big thing or a bunch of little things, there always seems to be something new to remind me that maybe, just maybe good things aren't supposed to come.

I really don't want much in life. I want stability. I don't want to spend my days stressed about where rent money, gas money, bill money will be coming from. I want my kids to have their needs taken care of. And every once in a while I would love to pee or shower alone. Maybe even sleep a solid six hours at once. I don't need to be rich and I surely would not like to be famous. I would just like to take care of my family.

The last like two years have been rough for my family. My boyfriend lost a really good job which sent us into a spiral that we have been slowly getting out of but there seems to constantly be SOMETHING waiting to pull us back down. After he lost his job, he found another that paid less and I was unable to find work due to the things I have mentioned in another blog post. He was able to find another good job with comparable pay and then that business closed right when we were fully caught up with bills. Years of living paycheck to paycheck tends to make a savings account a good idea but highly inaccessible. Especially when you add things like children and other emergencies that like to pop up. After losing the second job we also lost our apartment. Somehow we were able to get a hotel room and survive in it for 16 months. I was able to find a job as well. But, of course since me finding a job was a good thing, the other shoe dropped. However, those lemons were able to be turned into lemonade. We have survived. Some days I am not even sure how. But, we have. And now we have this sweet apartment and my boyfriend has his own business.

Some of my friends know that I have been looking for work, so they will send me job openings that they come across. For the most part, I haven't heard back from most of the places. It doesn't matter how many times I write and rewrite and have people review my resume. I just am not hearing back. BUT, I finally heard back. It is for a work at home position. Which would mean that I would be able to keep the baby home with me while the toddlers attend daycare and the big girl is in school. Awesome, right?! Right. But, then my computer decided it didn't like that plan and now my WiFi card is no longer working and the battery also needs to be replaced. Simple solutions really... when you have the money to do it. I'll figure it out, like we've managed to figure everything else out. But, I am so damn tired of lemonade.