I just want to do great things.

I quit my job on Friday. And I'm scared. And feeling a little lost. What's funny is, I didn't even want to go back.

Maybe I should start from the beginning? I got this job when I was about 15 weeks pregnant as an in between while the boyfriend was transitioning careers. He was going from the kitchen to the garage. I was going to work there until we had the baby as a way of us having added security. But, what I didn't expect was for me to fall in love with my job. So, I went on maternity leave with every intention of going back. But, when I was going back, daycare fell through & there wouldn't be a spot for all 3 kids that needed daycare for another month to 2 months. So, I had to quit.

And now, here we are. I need to find soemthing. I need to find something I love and something I'm good at.

But... what? I don't know right now. I'm full of ideas and trying to figure out how to translate them into real life. While also trying to adjust post-partum, with two toddlers & a high needs big kid.

I swear when I started writing this, there was more I needed to say. I had more words aching to come out. But, now... they're all gone. *sigh*

It's the little things...

Sometimes life is so overwhelmingly life like, that it's easy to forget about the good things. So, instead of talking about all of the things that haven't gone right, I'm going to talk about the things that have.

* I go back to work next week. This one is bitter sweet. I'm not exactly excited about leaving the babies, but I am glad that I have a job.

* I bought a cold brew coffee maker. Coffee as soon as I wake up with minimal effort & I don't have to put my pants on for it.

* My kids, boyfriend and mom are all happy and healthy.

* My boyfriend is getting pretty fucking amazing with his painting. I'm impressed.

* I have beer. Beer is tasty.

* My kids are hilarious. They can drive me a bit nutty but they say the funniest things and make the funniest faces.

* I've been presented with a lot of cool opportunities lately. I'll update more about those soon.

Things don't always go exactly how I dream of them, but I think life is trying to teach me that it's ok. Things have been hectic. It's been a hectic year but things are looking up. It may not be what I thought it would be but I can tell it's definitely what we need it to be. I'm grateful for what I do have because even in our not ideal situation, things are better for us than they are for a lot of people. And I think the last year has really shown us how much we can endure. I'm grateful for that lesson. It's definitely made us stronger as a family. That's for sure.